Clear on Who I’m Not
Have you ever been asked, “Where are you from?”
I’m Hispanic. My parents are from Mexico. I was born in Texas, and I live in Florida. So whenever someone asks me that question, I always pause for a second, because I’m never quite sure what they actually mean. Are they asking where I live now, where I was born, where I grew up, or what my ethnicity is? It’s a simple question, but it can lead in a lot of different directions depending on how you interpret it, and I’ve realized that I can give a completely different answer every time.
Now here’s another question that feels even more layered: Who are you?
Just like the first question, it sounds simple on the surface, but it can go in so many directions. Are we answering based on what we do, what we’ve accomplished, what people say about us, or even how we feel in a given season? If we’re not careful, we end up answering that question based on whatever feels most relevant in the moment, and over time, that’s how our identity can become unclear and inconsistent.
I was reading in the Gospel of John, chapter 1, and John the Baptist is asked a version of that same question: “Who are you?” (John 1:19, NIV). What stood out to me wasn’t just his answer, but how he answered it. There’s something about the way this moment unfolds that gives us a clear framework for how to approach identity in our own lives today.
First, there’s honesty. He tells the plain truth: “He did not fail to confess, but confessed freely…” (John 1:20, NIV). There’s no exaggeration, no attempt to sound more important, and no pressure to impress. He doesn’t build an identity around perception or expectation, he simply speaks truthfully about who he is and who he isn’t. That’s grounding, because so much of our confusion comes from trying to manage an image instead of living from a place of honesty. Real clarity begins when we’re willing to be honest about our season, our capacity, and what God is actually asking of us.
Second, there’s a head-on approach. “Now this was John’s testimony when the Jewish leaders in Jerusalem sent priests and Levites to ask him who he was” (John 1:19, NIV) He doesn’t evade the question. He doesn’t dodge it, delay it, or redirect it, he faces it directly. That stands out, because many of us avoid the very questions that could bring us clarity. We stay busy, keep moving, and fill our lives with noise so we don’t have to slow down and confront what’s really going on beneath the surface. But avoidance doesn’t protect us, it prolongs confusion. There’s a level of growth that only comes when we’re willing to sit with the question and answer it truthfully.
Third, there’s humility, or simply a clear understanding of who he is not. Before defining who he is, he starts by removing what he isn’t. They asked him, ‘Then who are you? Are you Elijah?’ He said, ‘I am not.’ ‘Are you the Prophet?’ He answered, ‘No’” (John 1:20–21, NIV). He refuses to take on a role that doesn’t belong to him. That’s powerful, because many of us are trying to discover who we are without first letting go of who we’re not. We carry roles we were never assigned, chase expectations we were never meant to meet, and compare ourselves to people we were never called to be. But clarity often comes through elimination. There is real freedom in being able to say, “That’s not me,” not out of insecurity, but out of conviction.
When you put it all together, a simple but powerful pattern emerges: honesty, head-on, and humility. His clarity didn’t come from trying to be everything, it came from being truthful, facing the question, and removing what didn’t belong. And maybe that’s the invitation for us today, not to complicate our identity, but to simplify it; not to add more labels, but to let go of the wrong ones. Because the more secure you are in who you’re not, the more effective you become in who you are.
Make it personal
Where am I not being fully honest about my season, my capacity, or my calling?
What question have I been avoiding that I need to face head-on?
What do I need to release because it’s not who I’m called to be?
